Hello, somehow you’re subscribed to Phil’s Newsletter. This is where I talk about me, my mental health, my robot vacuum Junior, and stuff I am creating or consuming. It’s meant to be a more personal and less polished look at what’s going on than I’d post on Twitter or Patreon. One of you managed to find the sign up page before I even publicized that I was working on this- and you have my thanks. That 0 flipping to a 1 in the admin UI and really engaged my shame sensors and forced me to make this happen. Let’s start off simple…
Who and what is a Phil Nelson?
Currently I take the form of:
I’m an engineer, designer, developer and producer who watches, reads, and creates a lot of different things. Over the last 18 years I’ve worked on graphics, apps, websites, games, videos, trade show booths, stickers, 3d printable art, AI cameras, VR gear, cards, t-shirts. You name it, I’ve probably designed and made one.
I grew up on government cheese and food stamps in Michigan but now I live in the rotting husk of San Francisco, curled up within its still pulsating innards as the life is slowly stolen from us both.
Yeah, and I thought it smelled bad on the outside.
If you want to know more details about the current state of San Francisco (why?) see Broke Ass Stuart.
… OK. Why a Newsletter?
Well, obviously, money. The global pandemic has taken a bite out of the economy for those of us not born into wealth, and every little bit helps. I already run a Patreon for some of my ongoing projects (LOFI SCIFI, RetroStrange Movie Night, Divergent League Baseball) but this is meant to be more personal and generalized than the Patreon.
Allow me to explain.
It’s Been A Rough Year(s)
About 10 years ago I moved to California, like an idiot, and stayed here because I fell in love (also like an idiot). It was pretty great until it wasn’t. About 10 months ago I moved out. At the time I felt stranded. I miss the cat a lot.
In San Francisco, Computer Visions You
I’d spent the last 7 years helping build Occipital, Inc from a small team of 10 to a 100+ person company with multiple divisions. I created websites and packaging, designed 20x20 foot trade show booths, worked on apps, wrote copy, and designed the store that processed every dollar of the millions the company made. It was a great opportunity and I grew a lot personally and professionally there. They laid off me and several of my co-workers with no warning when this pandemic started. Don’t worry- I’m sure the managers gave themselves raises and promotions.
After being thrown away like that the idea of joining another company made me feel physically sick. I had just signed a new lease in order to be close to the office! So I looked for some opportunities while navigating the pandemic, extreme economic precarity, and the emotional fallout of being laid off from my job just a few months after my romantic partner of 10 years told me “it’s not you it’s me” in our living room in front of the cat.
It felt like I’d skipped a decade, like none of it even happened but here I was almost 40 and alone now. One of my friends out here said I looked “shell-shocked” for months. I felt like a ghost. If I had any of my youthful ego left I don’t anymore.
More Of The Same in Fast Forward
This summer I got lucky and landed a good contracting gig running a few crowdfund campaigns that actually leveraged the things I’m good at (megaAI and the OpenCV AI Kit). I helped them raise over 1.3 million dollars and my work included naming some of the products, creating the campaign video, writing nearly every line of copy, daily updates for backers, and creating nearly all of the video / graphical content. But…
Companies simply do not value autodidacts or polymaths as full-time employees these days and I’ve been sitting right at that intersection my whole life. I’ve made companies millions of dollars doing… everything. As soon as businesses want to “cut costs” well… in my experience often the ones who built the company become the costs who get cut.
If I Have To Work, I’d Rather Work For All of You
The creative economy has changed a lot since I became a 60-hour-a-week salaryman 8 years ago. One thing that hasn’t changed, though: Health insurance is completely controlled by corporations in the United States of America, where I live. Without it, even going in for an annual checkup costs thousands of dollars. The cheapest insurance I can buy in 2020 costs over $600 per month and then you still have to pay more money when you actually go to the doctor! This does NOT include dental or vision coverage. Those are extra costs. I know, it’s bizarre.
Mentally I’m just now starting to feel like “myself” due the anxiety and fear that built up inside me working long hours for so many years. I don’t want to give an organization that kind of power over me again. I am not being hyperbolic (or flippant) when I say I think I’d rather die.
You sell them your time as the enthusiasm drains out of you for 40, 60, 80 hours a week a year at a time, you give up that time to see your dad before he dies, that time for your partner, that time to plan or even enjoy your life.
Health care should not be tied to your boss’s opinion of you. Your ability to stay in housing should not be tied to your boss’s opinion of you.
But it is. Unless you can convince the internet to give you enough money to do it. Then you’ve got a bit more freedom. You can’t really be laid off from being yourself and I’m clearly too pathetic to be cancelled. Which is the nuts and bolts of why you and I are here, reader. Moreso than a Patreon, I can be more personal here. It’s less broadcasty and more talky. I can take a newsletter (and subscribers) anywhere. So let’s go somewhere together.
Plus, as a career, the Patreon / Newsletter / Cult of Personality route is a lot more robust to fuckery by Professional Managerial Class leeches than any of my old jobs. So I’ve got that going for me.
This Week: I Am In Two Halloween Specials!
First: My brother Chuck and his wife Jess do a live show called What’s The Big Deal?
It’s a local news (southwestern MI) interview program, and they let us do comedy sketches after the interview segment. The latest episode broadcasts today, the 29th, and features me and some stuff I wrote and helped produce.
Second: RetroStrange Movie Night is running a 6-hour marathon of THE PHANTOM CREEPS starring Bela Lugosi all night on Halloween this Saturday. You’re invited.
So… Welcome. Expect a weekly newsletter with marginally less whining about my life, more pics and videos of stuff I am making, and more Indie Internet Stuff. Thank you.
— Phil